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Looking 4 ... (2 part)

11) Trying to make healthy gossip.

had been a week now since I started the IDES and I had to admit that after the difficulty 'of the initial design "hands", everything was going well.
Peter continued to send me emails of excuses but none of them wrote that he had left the girl to return with me. What did he mean? The design, which he nicknamed "handbaby" liked very much Sancez, you already know the name author.
<< Mi sembra strano che il signor Harris ti abbia permesso di riprodurlo in disegno.>>
<< Ah sì. Lee e’ stato molto carino.>>
<< E’ molto geloso delle sue opere. Però penso che odi “mother&son”. Così si chiama la foto.>> he explained.
<< Come mai?>>
<< Non lo so! Ha vinto il festival dell’IDES l’anno scorso ma le persone piu’ vicine a lui dicono che odia quella foto. Comunque veniamo a noi… ben fatto Mel! Ti stai accaparrando la persona piu’ talentuosa dell’istituto.>> seemed excited.
<< Macche’ prof, Lee mi odia.>> replied with a frown.
<< Se puo’ consolarti odia anche me!>> smiled at me but it seemed more 'given up on a reality'. A
lessons ended, I phoned and asked Ivy to reach her, and Suze at the pub near the institute, 'cause as usual I had to get both keys of the room and therefore was left out on.
<< Hai paura che ti chiuda fuori, carina?>> Suze said acid, in reality 'we order established a good relationship. Seemed like everyone did when he went there and talked calmly of everything. An ideal roommate. Very discreet.
pointless to deny that my prices were up when I told them, in a moment of despair, the affair of the car Pet. Ivy up and I even had a standing ovation. When
parted (Suze would sleep outside again ... also because 'Ivy had a single room!), but not to spend the evening alone, I opted to enter the pub and talk to the big man at the bar - AJ's name if the mind does not m 'deceived.
We went to the counter and I found another that was quietly chatting with someone. Lee! I went with a companion
do hope that Lee did not tear me, and greeted them.
The guy at the bar greeted me with a smile 32 teeth while Lee did not seem very happy to see me.
<< Ciao, io sono Peter.>> did the type.
<< Il proprietario!>>
<< Magari, diciamo gestore. Tu sei?>>
<< Mel!>> said.
<< Cosa ti porto Mel?>>
<< Una coca grazie. >> while so cool Peter went out, I tried to make conversation with Lee.
<< Ehi, ciao Lee?>>
<< Ancora tu! Ma perche’?>>
<< Non sapevo fossi qui, non l’ho fatto di proposito.>> I tried to justify myself.
<< Tratta meglio la signorina>> I defended the operator.
<< Non preoccuparti sono abituata.>>
<< Lee sei proprio una bestia!>> Peter insisted
<< Ma quanto sei alto? >> asked
<< Vedi? Fa sempre domande così inutili e stupide.>> grunted.
<< Rispondile! Cazz… Ehmmm rispondile no?>> ordered Pet.
<< 1. 94!>>
<< Ci avrei scommesso!!>> Peter seemed very amused, very pissed off Lee.
Once left alone, I felt really embarrassed, Lee was not very conversational.
<< La Sancez dice che odi quella foto, come mai?>>
<< Saranno fatti miei, no?>>
<< E poi dice che e’ strano come tu possa avermi autorizzata alla riproduzione. Come mai?>> Lee was just too cute, with her hair, chocolate brown that fell eyes. Who knows 'when he was with Cat, if they were just friends I could hope for something more'.
<< Ho accettato per levarti dai piedi! Capisci? Ormai avevi fatto il disegno e se non te lo avessi concesso saresti venuta continuamente a supplicarmi di autorizzarti a consegnarlo. Non mi piacciono le lagne come te.>>
How was shit! My interest in him collapsed on the peak. Fortunately he returned accompanied by Pet Cat and Bow Wow miciomicio in practice.
Since my interest in Lee and 'sold out in that' moment, I opted to make the healthy gossip. Find out if the star of popostar and lanky acid were together ...
Cat greeted me cordially, but did not remain for long in the pub. Followed by Lee walked toward the exit, meanwhile, knew that the club owner could tell me what would interest me. Muahuahuaha, a diabolical laughter rang me in the head.
<< Peter ascolta!>>
<< Ti sei presa una fissa per quel Lee, scommetto.>>
<< Assolutamente no! Lo odio! Però sono gossippara! Voglio sapere se lui e Cat stanno insieme.>> began to lower his voice and lean towards him.
<< Non credo proprio!>>
<< Stanno sempre appiccicati, sai com’e’?>> Peter had become ice.
<< Stammi a sentire Mel, la situazione e’ molto difficile, ma visto che sembri una persona intelligente te la spiego in poche parole, so che dopo non farai altre domande. >> nodded scared. Peter being more 'big proved highly mature. Although his name was Peter, as the asshole of my ex, but I hardly knew him liked him a lot.
<< La famiglia di Cat è proprio coi cazzi, gente povera. E’ nata in un piccolo paese della provincia di NS, un paesupolo più sperduto del mio. Hai presente quei posti dove i genitori pensano che per i loro figli l’unico modo per salvarsi e’ di venire in citta’? Venire in città per quei cristi dei figli è l'unica salvezza... Forse per tutti noi cristi che arriviamo arrancando da questi stronzi di paesi senza sugo. Beh lei ha seguito alla lettera i lavaggi del cervello dei suoi, sin da bambina, almeno Cat ha un desiderio... ce l'ha da sempre, però il cazzo è che era un desiderio tutto sballato, voleva seguire sua cugina Serena, una musicista, in città . Per lei la cugina era un mito. Non vedeva l’ora di venire qui da lei, Serena le aveva promesso che si sarebbe presa cura di lei. Era venuta qui troppo presto. Si conoscevano appena ma Cat era riuscita ad avere il suo numero e spesso le telefonava… non vedeva l'ora di seguirla. Però aveva perso le tracce da un pò, dopo la maturita’, venne per fare gli esami d’ammissione all’Ides. Quando è arrivata tutta spaurita l'ha cercata in lungo e largo, poi è approdata qui, ha fatto tutto giusto povera ragazza per trovarsi con niente, qui le persone la conoscevano come Selena quando è riuscita a trovare una pista, questa pista è stato un bel problema dirle che la piccola Sel era morta... poco tempo prima.>> Peter was of marble. He looked at me and I felt a thick that invaded my stomach.

"I did not want to leave so early, I wanted to see you become the most 'famous painter of our century ..."
"Do not leave me ..."
" Girls, even if you do not know that I will be physically close, you'll never be alone ... "
" Stay with me grandfather ... "

A tear fell on my face, I knew I was doing the figure of the fool, I did not even know Cat .
<< Tutti ci siamo presi cura di lei, sia per le selezioni di Popstar che dell’Ides. Senza rendersene conto Selena qui aveva tante persone che davvero l’amavano.>>
I had cried enough for my grandfather, that was the truth '. It happened all too fast I allowed myself to cry a little '.
<< Dai pero’ ora non piangere piu’!>> he whispered sweet trying to dry my tears with his hand
<< Sei una lagna, l’avevo detto! >> Lee behind me and saw the thing a bit 'embarrasses me.
<< Che cazzo vuoi?>> Pet said.
<< Avevo lasciato gli occhiali, eccoli…>> said addressing a look slaughtered.
<< Ma che problema ha?>> I asked, terrified.
<< Non chiederlo a me! Comunque la coglioneria e’ proprio nella sua indole.>>
I was really down, news of Cat, my grandfather, Lee, who hated me.
I had not realized, however, nothing of the relationship between Lee and Cat. That had nothing to do with each other?
I had to quell my curiosity, 'Peter looked a little too' experienced by the story of her cousin Cat We were silent for a while ', but it embarrasses me no, that was fine.

12) Trying not to make me break your heart.

Peter, oh Peter! I had been sighing all the time that name, I liked the Pet Pub. Maybe it was all because of the name, I had a soft spot.
that morning but I had to hurry and go to school, instead of daydreaming film with him a kiss.
Suddenly I saw a shadow, I screamed in terror.
<< Bambina, sono io!>>
<< Suze, stavo morendo di crepacuore. Ma non eri da Ivy?>>
<< Abbiamo litigato, e’ una poco di buono!>>
<< Cosa? Ma tu la ami…>> I remained speechless.
<< Questo non esclude che lo sia, e poi permettimi di sfogarmi, sono incazzata!>> I turned away.
<< Vuoi parlarne…?>>
<< Ne sto parlando!>> responded as if it were the most obvious thing of the moment.
<< Insultandola? Strano modo per parlarne.>>
<< E’ così assurda! Secondo te gli stivali con la pelliccia vanno bene con il capello con la pelliccia?>> exploded with rage.
<< Andate a cagare, tutte e due!>> one could argue for that reason?
After my affectionate insult seemed puzzled but continued to have angry face, suddenly seemed to focus on. He looked at the window.
<< Hai fatto un altro quadro?>> changed argument.
<< Si, uno schizzetto! Ieri mi sono messa alla finestra a pensare, questo e’ il risultato.>> explained.
<< Cosa sei venuta a sapere? So che disegni quando scopri qualcosa che ti sconvolge…>>
<< Mica sempre, spesso! Peter mi ha raccontato della cugina di Cat.>>
<< Brutta storia, eh?>> twisted his lips.
<< Si, ma quello che non riesco a capire e’ cosa c’entra Lee in tutto questo…>>
<< Un cazzo, sai che Lee e’ un mio amico d’infanzia? Ti rompe i ciglioni fino allo sfinimento se non trova nulla di buono in te…>> I had understood to be alone, I thought to myself.
<< Consolante, e’ quello che fa con me!>>
<< Auguri! Quando però si accorge che hai veramente bisogno di lui, non ci dorme la notte per aiutarti.>>
<< Non me lo sarei immaginato, quindi Cat e’ anche tua amica d’infanzia?>>
<< Chi la conosce? Si sono conosciuti qui. Prima Lee lavorava al pub, quando non c’era ancora AJ, e’ li che si sono conosciuti. In sostanza lei e’ tutto quello che una donna può significare per lui... affettivamente parlando intendo.>>
<< Capisco. >> I could not believe that boy so disagreeable to me, would be sweet with other people. As Suze said he could see nothing good in me. It was a really depressing thing to reach that conclusion!
<< Pure con me…>> Suze turned serious. << Si capiva che non ero “normale”…anche se poi chi decide qual’e’ la normalita’? Sin da bambina facevo cose strane, facevo vestiti, giocavo a calcio, cose non consone per una bambina…però Lee mi e’ sempre stato accanto. Lui ha una situazione familiare strana, non ne parla liberamente. Eravamo io e lui, ma mai come qualcosa di piu’, amici e basta. Mi sono trasferita qui quando ho conosciuto Ivy, lui mi ha seguita, ero l’unica persona che gli andava a genio. Mi sono accorta dopo di essere stata egoista, perche’ lui m’era stato accanto ed io seguendo il cuore l’avevo lasciato solo. A volte sono contenta che Cat gli piaccia, altre volte invece ne sono gelosa perche’ lui e’ esclusivista. Esclude tutti gli altri…>> I felt sorry for Suze at first, but then I assumed that Lee wanted to charge it to him, had still left just before her. Poor Lee, I changed my mind immediately, but being the champion of the little girls in trouble ', was remarkable.
The day passed and I thought I had fixed on Suze, what he had told me of Lee and laugh that my roommate had made when I revealed my crush on Peter.
I was blatantly transparent, after classes I went to the pub to do nothing, but above that Peter began to wait his turn.
Meanwhile I chat with AJ. : Little more 'than 40 years, had children, two still small and a companion who was a cleaner for the municipal offices. We feel very, had a passion for music and I do not mind talking about it. Lee broke
my quiet chat.
<< Puoi venire fuori? Devo parlarti! >> it shook me a bit ', certainly did not intend to declare, partly because it seemed really angry.
arrived outside the pub and he lit a cigarette. He threw out two shots.
<< Ascolta Mel, c’e’ voce in giro che hai una fissa per Peter.>> ruled without even looking at me.
<< Si e’ capito? L’ha capito lui?>> because I did not know at that time unnecessary to ask the same questions, the real problem was another.
<< Non lo so, ma io sì…>>
<< Com’e’ possibile?>> I concluded that gliel'avesse said Su.
<< Volevo dirti di non metterci molto pensiero. >> after it's ripped the cigarette from his hands, took a shot and I was almost out the smoke from his ears.
<< Ascoltami bene Lee, fino ad oggi ti ho lasciato fare, perche’ sei molto bravo nella tua passione, perche’ sei molto carino con Cat, sei uno dei migliori amici di Suze, sennonché mio vicino di stanza. Voglio dirti solo una cosa però : non m’interessa se tu mi consideri una nullita’ e non all’altezza del tuo amico Peter ma quello che puo’ succedere tra di noi…lo decidiamo solo noi, chiaro? Fatti i cazzi tuoi! >> I felt so angry outburst after that I almost turned his head. I went into the pub leaving him behind me, I took my things, said goodbye and AJ walked toward the student with the intent to name a further four to Suze, 'cause he had not made the affaracci her, lesbian fuck?
I went and slammed the door with force, she did not know the reason for my course of stress and asked me what had happened.
<< Hai detto tu a Lee che mi piace Peter?>>
<< Si, gli ho chiesto se poteva metterti una buona parola, mi sembravi tanto presa che…>>
<< Perche’ non ti fai i stracazzi tuoi? Ti ho chiesto qualcosa? >> tried to tell me something. << Mi considera la merda sotto i suoi piedi, o farei meglio a dire del suo cervello perche’ li sicuramente ne ha di piu’… quanto mi fate incazzare. A me piace Peter e se non mi vuole me lo deve dire lui, intesi?>> take a look threw the acid.
<< Mel, Lee ti ha detto delle cose perche’ Peter ha una ragazza. >> I opened a chasm beneath their feet. That figure of shit! And I thought something else entirely.
<< Gli ho detto di non dirti nulla, perche’ magari pensavi che volesse metterti i bastoni tra le ruote, ed in effetti e’ stato così, no?>> stared at me waiting for my answer.
<< Mi dispiace Suze!>> I started to cry, tears sprang to my eyes.
<< Piangi per me? Per Lee? O per Peter?>> smiled.
<< Piango perche’ sono io ad avere la merda in questo cervello del cazzo. >> exclaimed, striking his head slightly.
<< Che linguaggio! Ti stai ambientando direi…>>
<< Lee non me la perdonera’…>> I tried to wipe the tears from his face.
<< Forse sì, ma devo dirti una cosa importante. In realta’ lui era venuto qui per propormi di trasferirmi insieme a lui in un appartamento esterno allo studentato. Ha trovato una casa a tre stanze, quindi per prenderla dovremmo essere in tre. Ci mobiliteremo con volantini e così via per cercare la terza persona. Lee mi ha chiesto però di chiederlo prima a te, prima di tutti? Cosa dici?>> gave me a wink convincing.
<< Ci sto!>> answered immediately.
<< Non ho molti soldi se me ne vado da qui, mi pagano lo studentato non credo una casa fuori.>> apparsero many numbers in my head.
<< Dobbiamo escogitare qualcosa, forse possono coprire parzialmente le spese. Dobbiamo chiedere in segreteria. >> I was moved, Suze who mobilized to take me with you, that Lee had asked him to ask me first. It was not as bad as it seemed I was sure.
<< Smettila di fare la lagna deficiente, che palle!>> Suze scolded me, handing me a handkerchief.

13) Looking for a job.

Suze and I went the Administrative Office a few days later, I was told that I could enjoy the scholarship for the first year, I wanted to live anywhere but not much more 'than 300 euro per month, which was a dick because I would be € 300 the thick side of the apartment (luckily service charges included).
I always had the right to meals and books, but nothing more '. The reality was that even though I was the only dorm I had that and what little money with which I came was ending.
Suze said that its third tenant could be just me and that made me a bit 'anxious' cause I had not yet been able to find a job. Peter
From there I went more 'to shame and not meeting' Lee, I heard a knock at the door, I thought it was Suze that he had forgotten the keys to my amazement, however, was Lee.
<< Ciao. >> I made a faint gesture of head.
<< Ehila’,! >> sat, I wondered if people could freely enter the rooms of women, looked around, in truth eyed just my side of the room, which seemed quite rude.
<< Che vuoi? >> I tried to shove off now.
<< Cercavo Suze…>>
<< Come vedi non c’e’!>>
<< Mi ha detto che cercavi lavoro…>>
<< E’ vero! Ma non ho trovato nulla per ora…>> replied aggressively.
<< Ce l’ho io un posto per te, da Peter.>>
<< Di cosa si tratta?>> I tried to stay calm.
<< Body artist! Fare i tatuaggi con l’enne! Gli universitari ne vanno matti, poi ci sono gli egocentrici… ne stavamo parlando io e Peter che a ST va per la maggiore e quindi abbiamo pensato di farlo al locale, la sera, ma non tutte le sere, ne dobbiamo parlare…>> because 'Lee wanted to help me? Did not convince me that story, he scared me, I waved. Needless to say, it was beautiful, really.
<< Quanto e’ la paga?>> came down to it, to show that I had wrist.
<< Peter non ti da nulla, ti metti come una libera professionista e ti prendi dai 10 euro in su, poi ti aiuto a decidere le tariffe. Se ne fai almeno 5 a sera sono 50 bigliettoni se lavori 3 sere alla settimana sono 150 euro, al mese sono 600 in piu’ dei 300 delle spese che ti paga la borsa di studio, e poi qui c’e’ un sacco di gente e che ti chiama per dipingere le pareti di casa, murales e via dicendo quindi…>> I was reading the plan in his mind.
<< Perche’ fai questo per me?>> I asked him with tears in his eyes.
<< Mel, lo faccio per andarmene da qui, perche’ sei molto brava nella tua passione, perche’ sei molto carina con Peter, sei uno delle migliori amiche di Suze…e quindi se vai bene a lei sei sicuramente in gamba.>> was partially repeated my speech that night outside the pub.
<< Mi dispiace per l’altra volta, Suze mi ha spiegato…>>
<< Per me non sei una nullita’, smettila di fare la vittima!>> approached me so much that you smell cigarette. He leaned toward me, I felt the goose bumps on the back that you feel before a kiss.
<< Poi c’è l’affare dell’auto del tuo ex! Che figata!>> I blushed with shame, with Lee Su had no secrets, I should have guessed.
<< Cioè, non è che l’ho fatto di punto in bianco, ne ho pagate anche le conseguenze!>> I tried to justify myself.
<< Lo so! Allora andiamo?>> smiled, interrupting his speech so personal.
<< Dove? >> what we were talking about?
<< Al pub, per la prima sera di lavoro.>> said.
<< Di gia’?>> I was stunned.
<< Che fa? Proviamo!>> replied firmly.
<< Lavoriamo in coppia?>>
<< No, io ti faccio la posta! Stasera c’e’ serata striptease quindi c’e’ gentaglia.>>
<< OMD! Non lo sapevo.>> Peter and the striptease, my dream of love had a minimum start.
We walked, it was very cold at that time in NS, we talked a little.
I walked into the room I had a heart attack. Pet ran up to hug me.
<< Mel, dove cazzo sei stata? Madò mi sei mancata! Ti ho fatto qualcosa?>>
<< Affatto, ho avuto da studiare.>> Lee and I looked at each other, Pet I liked more and more ', he had hair tonight wonderful, always on the Beatles first manner as Lee, m blond and shiny. A good perfume, the tight pants on uh ... I fantasized pronounced the evening.
<< Che prendi?>> asked Lee.
<< Una birra. >> stayed with Peter. What embarrasses me 'cause I felt I did not answer for my actions, I was too much sex.
<< Non sapevo che c’era una serata strep in questo pub.>>
<< L’hanno richiesta i vecchioni del posto. Però si guadagna bene. Vuoi esibirti?>>
<< Ma anche no…>> said snorting with laughter.
<< Qualche volta ti faccio un provino personale…>> TILT! I would have liked, when he hugged me again, Lee divided us.
<< Ecco la tua birra, ti porto alla tua postazione.>> dragged me by the arm.
<< Se non avessi accettato?>> I was amazed.
<< Lo avrei fatto io.>>
I approached Ivy dressed in nothing concrete behind Suze. I could not believe my eyes.
<< Ecco il pezzo forte della serata. >> Lee said, watching her tits. The thing I Scazzi a bit 'cause he had the most' of my great, no maybe not, oh well, however, were exposed in plain sight.
<< Pezzo forte?>>
<< Sono la prima ballerina! Non ho un costume fantastico?>> Ivy blinked.
<< Crede di avere un costume da ballerina. Non capisce di essere nuda. >> Suze explained.
<< Non sei gelosa? >> I asked.
<< No, anche perche’ vedi un po’ gli uomini che vengono a vederla.>> showed me around.
<< Ascolta Mel, voglio che tu mi dipinga tutto il corpo per stasera. Quanto mi costa? >> Ivy asked me, I looked at Lee.
<< Sui 100 euro, per te 80! Tanto ne guadagnerai altrettanti stasera.>>
<< Ci sto, vado a prendere il contante ed il disegno che voglio.>> Suze meanwhile, walked away with that I looked aghast at Lee.
<< L’avresti dipinta tu dappertutto se non avessi accettato?>>
<< Mel ascolta, ci sono andato a letto con Ivy e con Suze, insieme, le ho viste gia nude. >> I remained speechless.


14) Trying bogus excuses.

not I was a prude! In fact we gave in (in its heyday), and in reality 'we wanted to give in with the sex, but after Peter I was almost rebuilt virginity'! Since I knew Lee, Ivy and Suze did not do anything but think of them manage a trois. I was a bit 'mad and not just because' Ivy had, perhaps, more tits 'big mine (I wanted to ask her bra size), but because' I had clearly said that Suze did not like men.
My first day working at the pub had gone great, I had gained about 250 €, Lee I had a little 'taught various techniques, however, had left me all the money. She had not wanted anything, explaining that he needed, I assumed it came from a wealthy family.
room I saw my future and I was happy (well not quite a hundred per cent, 'perche'era already' furnished so there was nothing personal), but it was ... you know ... just mine, and that was enough. Living with Lee
worried me a bit 'to the fact that he was a man. The one with whom I lived, until then, more than Adam was the center of the Mens Sana Jo, but was far too little time to get used to it. I thought they were just paranoid and that it was still like Suze. At least we hoped.
The stuff on it was all canned, mine was still scattered but I had very little time and then I was too kaiser at that time, then tried to stay in the room as possible.
<< Senti Mel mi da fastidio che mi stai sul fiato sul collo, dimmi che problema hai?>> suddenly blurted out after an hour of silence.
<< Hai detto a Lee il fatto dell’auto annegata! Possibile che non posso fidarmi di te? >> acted shocked, truly, that thing I care very little, because Lee had reacted with enthusiasm.
<< Mi fido troppo di Lee per farlo sembrare un pettegolezzo e poi l’ho fatto per aumentare la tua popolarità! Non siamo ragazzi normali, lo sai no?>> I turned his back, continuing my fake attempt to make my stuff.
<< Musona!>> I scoffed.
<< Zozzona!>> said.
<< Ho detto qualcosa durante la notte?>> asked anxiously.
<< No, ma so cose…>>
<< Cosa sai deficiente? Se non dici la verita’ ti giuro che ti lancio tutte le tue tavole da disegno dalla finestra!>> threatened me aggressive.
<< Ok, *paura*, Lee mi ha detto che e’ venuto a letto con te e Ivy.>>
<< Figlio di …>>
<< No, ma lui l’ha detto con tutta la tranquillità del mondo sono io che sono sconvolta, anche perche’ non dovrebbero piacervi gli uomini.>> I tried to soften the tone.
<< A me infatti fanno schifo, Ivy diciamo che e’ bisessuale.>> explained.
<< Non ti preoccupa la cosa?>>
<< No, perche’ potrebbe stare con tutti gli uomini del mondo ed invece sta con me. Noi, non ci siamo scelte per tendenza sessuale ma per affinita’ elettiva, do you know? E poi siamo andate a letto con Lee perche’ eravamo totalmente fuori… ma non vorrei approfondire.>> seemed evasive.
<< Ok, non approfondisco. Almeno e’ stato bravo?>>
<< Sì, e’ uno scopone direi. Scusa, sei forse gelosa?>> looked at me with suspicion.
<< Di Lee? Non posso essere gelosa di Lee. A me piace Peter! Quello e’ il mio ideale di uomo.>> explained ashamed.
Oh no? 'Cause I was obsessed ... er scopone Lee? I did have an explanation: I was dealing well lately! Here are revealed the reason.
Suddenly I heard screams coming from the hallway, she was a girl, the voice resembled that of Cat I put my ear to the wall to see if out of curiosity 'was due to Lee (even though it was so obvious!) That Cat was yelling .
<< Dovevi esserci, me l’avevi promesso!>>
<< Ma sono stato al locale per avviare l’attivita’ di Mel.>>
<< Mel di qua! Mel di la! >> eh? They were talking about me? But why '? I decided to go out and ask who it was appointed on behalf of Brown in vain. I knew that I need to do on my own but could not resist.
<< Mi chiamate?>>
<< Dov’ero giovedì sera?>> I called him into question.
<< Con me al locale a spiegarmi un po’ il lavoro di body painting.>> was true.
<< Non e’ questo il punto Mel, doveva accompagnare me, non capivo l’urgenza! Se avessi iniziato venerdì?>>
<< Non e’stata una mia decisione questa! Lee di qualcosa…?>>
<< Nelle serate “spogliarello” le ballerine si fanno dipingere con piu’ facilita’ ok? E’ business! Ed ora dovrei andare in bagno posso?>> left it outside with me, as if I had downloaded the problem. 'Cause I had not done my own business?
<< Non ha mai fatto così con me! >> I looked exasperated.
<< Strano, con me fa sempre così…>> I tried to cheer her up.
<< Ascoltami bene Mel…>> I pointed the finger.
<< So che ti piace Peter ed a me va benissimo, ma con Lee caschi male. Lee e’ diverso, non devi neanche minimamente pensare di avvicinarti ad una persona come lui, non potresti capirlo. Lee lo capisco solo io!>> and the fact that once again I wanted to say who I had to like me angry so absurd if I had not seen that Cat was about to cry I gave him four. More than friendship brotherhood between the two, she loved him. It was obvious. But certainly could not blame me that I was alien to the subject.
<< Senti Cat, a me Lee non interessa! Non ci parliamo neanche! Come ben sai… >> now everyone knew everyone and he <<… e’ Peter che mi piace! Ma lui e’ fidanzato! Quindi ho gia’ l’anima in pace, possibile che devo spiattellarlo ai quattro venti per giustificarmi? Puoi tenertelo Lee. >> when I said those words I had a tight stomach, what was that feeling of discomfort?

15) Trying to fix my new home.


The move was finished and blessed are those who had saved all the trouble: Lee.
was unbearable, she left me to clean the whole house, Suze Ivy and as he went around to invite people to the feast of the new house tonight.
<< E’ un pazzo, io sono stanca.>> Scazzi said.
<< Hai ragione, e’ vero che mi ha dato 250 testoni ma per il trasloco non per organizzare la festa!>> the redhead sighed.
<< Ivy, ti vendi per un cazzo.>> Suze scolded.
<< Ma così avrei avuto modo di starti vicina ancora piu’ tempo.>> justified himself by throwing the girl into the arms of his girlfriend.
The two began making out.
<< Ehm..>> coughed.
<< Scusa…>> Ivy said.
<< Figuratevi, ci sono abituata con voi a reggere la candela.>>
Yeah, from that day I had to get used to the women and the scopone spupazzamenti of those two. I always had my camera though.
I'd put a giant poster of THE CAST.
<< Quanto mi piace Zack.>> sighed.
<< ZACKKKKKKKKK!?? >> I looked upset, but why '?
<< Io se fossi etero mi farei Steve. >> Suze ruled as if it was more 'normal world.
<< Zack e’ il migliore, ho un debole per i batteristi, sapete com’e’!>>
<< Anche io opterei per Steve.>> was added Ivy. << Comunque, sono amici di Peter.>>
<< Davvero?> was almost to faint.
<< Si in pratica UNA EX di Steve era la sua migliore amica e poi sai il pub e’ dei THE CAST.>> term.
<< Non ci credo! Peter mi piace già da impazzire poi conosce anche i The Cast, posso sposarmelo?>> the other two laughed and at the same time Lee was taken into consideration.
<< Chi ti vuoi sposare?>>
<< Zach, dei THE CAST…>> I replied in jest, Lee made a face distorted.
<< Ma che c’avete tutti? E’ bellissimo e mitico oltretutto.>> I was almost offended.
The three looked at me and turned a look of compassion.
<< Io se fossi gay mi farei Steve. >> Lee cried and everyone laughed.
a party I'd never done, but not because 'Megan I did not do but did' cause I never had a great desire to celebrate.
The party was used in the living room, which fortunately was large enough to make our rooms were off limits. It started at 22 but did not see anything. At
23 the house was full, I was bored to death, all the dancers rubbing like pigs in heat. Lee first of all, I had seen him making out with three women, one of which looked like a man (or was?).
Hours 23. 45, the evening began to get interesting: Peter arrived.
I looked at the crowd and he too tried to find them and he did. I sat near.
<< Che fai?>>
<< Nulla, mi annoio.>> did not hear my answer and then came up to my mouth with the ear.
<< Cosa?>>
<< Mi annoio. >> too close, I felt a jolt.
<< Non e’ il tuo genere di festa eh? >>
<< Cos’e’ una festa?>> laughed and hugged me, everything that I thought was: MMH!
The music changed, everyone booed that change, someone shouted the name of Lee, I assumed that was him. He put on Live Forever by Oasis.

"Maybe I do not really want to know how to grow your garden


I just want to fly Lately did you ever feel the pain as if you

to the bone to rinse in rainy day?"

The complaints subsided, all knew and loved that song. I felt pull my hair, it was Lee.
<< Ma che caz…>> I exclaimed, turning around.
<< Che fate?>> churches busted.
<< Si chiama parlare.>> Peter said while he took a pint and someone passed me.
<< Stiamo parlando sul fatto che lei è la più carina qua dentro e tu invece la lasci sempre da sola…sei una merda! Non capisci un cazzo!>> Peter intervened to provoke him and I blushed. The
scopone rolled his eyes like broken balls and began to pull me by the wrist, making me almost all the beer down on me, I spent a boy.
<< Ehi! Lasciala. >> Peter claims.
<< Lee mi si sta fermando il sangue!>> I complained.
He did not let me, Peter placed himself in front and looked in his eyes.
<< Non le faccio del male, ok?>> Peter moved defeated, a whispered "be careful", I did not understand me because neither of them took into consideration at that time.
We were in my room, though he should have come when he wanted to fuck him.
<< Lasciami! Che c’e’?>> pulled strong arm, he let go of me but only to close the door.
He kissed me.
His heart was altered. Strong beat, made me a blank look, thought for sure to me.
What I was attracted to Lee in the first time? He was taking advantage of me! As we were going to live under the same roof ...?
I stopped and began to stroke her hands, shivering with pleasure invaded my body, slow slide of his fingers shook my senses, I felt touching my legs, his touch was firm and sweet at the same time, slipped on my inexorable skin.
I lifted her shirt and began to kiss my neck, touched my shoulders, back and even more 'down, began to fall more and more', I felt as if my flesh was being abandoned him, was about to explode, the my lips narrowed a bit, and noticed he was ready. He took a condom from his pocket, was about to happen.
He kissed me and also my heart began to beat, I looked into his eyes.
Our breaths, the music that came from the salon.


Maybe I just want to fly I want to live, not die
Maybe I just want to breathe Maybe I just do not believe

Maybe you're just like me
We see things they have never seen
You and I will live forever

Since then, he was present, focused on me, recognized me. He stared at me, almost as if the tenderness was doing but he was at that time to have the look more 'sweet in the world.
I went on the legs astride, embraced him by keeping his head on his chest, I dropped a tear. His passion was extinguished.
I cried 'cause I felt sorry for him. What had
in Lee?
collapsed in front of me, closed his eyes, my arms were still around him.
We lay on the bed, always embraced. It seemed that he was sleeping. I watched him for half an hour at least, suddenly terrified that might open the eyes and notice me. A tear moistened his eyes.
What Lee was dreaming?
I squatted to his chest, felt her heart was beating, mine too had stopped beating strong and all his fault ...
By Lee. Maybe I


only fly I want to live, not die
Maybe I just want to breathe Maybe I just do not believe

Maybe you're just like me
We see things they have never seen
You and I will live forever

16) Looking for a Another kiss.

sveglai me and he was gone '. I felt a sense of emptiness, 'cause I knew that I would not have seen him stand next to me that the night before and that was only a brief period.
I felt empty as a teenager after their first kiss.
I was ashamed to even leave the room 'cause we thought that Suze would like hedgehogs fucked all night, but alas' no, even if it was better that way.
Lee kissed like a god ... the kiss.
my heart beats the very thought. But I also knew that the night before was not much in itself and it worried me even though he should not have (as I was twisted) ...
I plucked up my courage, also because 'I needed the toilet, and I left the room.
Suze was dedicated to his dummy, sewing a bit 'here and a bit' of the ', I thought it had escaped when
instead greeted me without even looking back. How the hell did he do?
<< Mel! Allora? Ti sei riposata?>>
<< Si, abbastanza.>> just smiles.
<< Lee mi ha detto che ha visto chiuderti in camera alle 23. Hai fatto bene comunque, e’ stata la solita festa.>> Lee had lied. Obviously he was ashamed of what he had "almost" done. Not bad, so I had to avoid even I find justifications with Suze.
<< Sì, e’ che all'improvviso ho avuto un calo di pressione, credo, mi sono dovuta stendere e mi sono addormentata.>>
Suze did "sisi" with his head but was too taken by his model.
<< Ora sto meglio…>> would drink?
<< Bene.>> believe they have finished the conversation I went to the bathroom.
After finishing, I went back next to her, sitting on the side. It was such a great dress.
<< Per cosa lo stai preparando? Qualche concorso?>>
<< No, è semplicemente per Ivy.>>
I had never seen a pair like them (I did not mean for homosexuality ') but for the strong union, seemed as married.
<< Cos’aveva ieri Lee?>> I asked but then I bit my tongue.
<< In che senso?>>
<< Era strano, sudato, stralunato…>> Suze looked at me, then turned to the dummy.
<< Cosa state combinando?>> asked to burning hair.
<< Eh?>>
<< Quando a lui si chiede di te, risponde in modo rapido con un “si” od un “no” e poi esce di casa senza piu’ tornare. Tu parli di continuo di lui.>>
<< Non parlo di continuo di lui, e’ la prima volta che lo vedevo in quello stato. >> Lee felt in trouble 'as a result of what he could not talk to me, I wanted to tell him that I did not have with him.
began to pick up my stuff and go to the bathroom to take a shower, I wanted to review Lee.
<< Dove vai?>>
<< Mi sono ricordata di avere un impegno.>> Suze I looked resigned, I was understanding everything and I was interested in what respect.
I left hurriedly and went to the academy, in the compartment of its faculty (all we had only the afternoon lecture that day) but I felt I'd met.
What could I say?
"I still want to kiss you, do not have it with you 'cause you tried to rape me, indeed ritentaci" - but I thought I laugh alone, if they knew my friends in the center.
There was no trace of him, staring up and down I went 'to the academy but nothing! How was I thinking? The next day a party of Lee should have been in class when there was no lesson? Ugh!
was leaving to go home when I heard a voice from the photo lab "dark room", he was BINGO! How had I not think about it?
I spoke with professor of photography.
I did not hear what was said, I just wanted him to see me. The Professor I went out and walked in silence. She did not notice anything.
I looked at his tall figure behind him, seemed very busy, I had so much sadness but could only be pity 'that feeling.
<< Ragazzaccio.>> turning it exclaimed in surprise.
<< Da quanto tempo sei qui?>>
<< Sono appena entrata, quando e’ uscito il professore.>>
<< Cosa vuoi?>> kindness that my mom was really happy to see me.
<< Nulla volevo solo chiarire per ieri…>>
<< Ieri? Non ricordo nulla, so solo che mi sono svegliata nella tua camera. Non penso di aver fatto sesso con te, non sei il tipo di donna con cui scopo, quindi…>>
I felt like I fell into a dustbin. What? The day before had been so sweet, he stopped looking into my eyes, it could be you. Where was helpless Lee yesterday? I wanted him. I did not know whether to laugh or cry.
<< Ero venuta a chiarire questo.>> I was just saying.
<< Ok. > > Turning said.
My heart was quite broken but I knew that he had nothing to lose.
<< Forse voglio solo volare, voglio vivere, non voglio morire. Forse voglio solo respirare, forse voglio solamente non credere, forse tu sei uguale a me. Noi vediamo cose che loro non hanno mai visto, tu ed io vivremo per sempre…>> I quoted the song of the moment, he looked surprised to me. << Ti chiedo scusa per quello che sto per fare.>> added.
seemed stunned, I put my mouth to her, hugged him and felt his lips in contact with mine. Lee began to reciprocate without saying have it twice.
started to kiss and embrace in a passionate, his hands caressed my hair. The temperature was about to go up when I decided it was time to break away, I could not go over, touched his heart trying to tell me something but I did not want to hear anything, I realized that he felt the same, maybe he was just a drive sex, but I had proven not seriously think that I was not up to it.
left the lab in the clouds, although they were only kissing, maybe I would never have had, for once I had done as I wanted. I had got it back and when I decided I could also die at that moment, I exaggerated?
I returned to the room, I had red cheeks and shining eyes, at least that was what I imagined.
As I entered the house I saw that Suze was devilish.
<< Non devi innamorarti di Lee, capito?>> I attacked.
<< Cosa dici?>>
<< Lo so, si vede ed io ne sarò responsabile! Non posso permettertelo.>>
<< Non c’entri niente tu, so a cosa vado incontro.>>
<< No, Mel, non lo sai. E’ un infelice, renderà infelice anche te. E’ come un male incurabile, ti rodera’ il cuore. Lo conosco, non e’ capace di amare.>> spat in one breath.
<< Che cose orrende stai dicendo di lui.>> my heart sank.
<< E’ così e lui lo sa! E’ infelice…>>
<< Potrei cercare di aiutarlo… perche’ e’ infelice?>>
<< Non sono tenuta a dirlo.>>
<< Non sono così sprovveduta…>> herself to give me advice? I'd had enough.
<< Era fatto di Ecstasy ieri! Lo stesso quando abbiamo scopato a tre eravamo tutti fatti, la roba ce l’aveva data lui, si riempie di quella merda!>>
I was not for the icy 'E., but because I felt even more motivated to protect him.

17) Looking for the reason ... I

We were eating together, Ivy and Suze. Lee was no longer 'seen, no one knew where the hell he was! I assumed him to return to sleep during the day but there was no trace of him. I wanted to ask the girls if they had met him but I stopped talking on, in fact there at the table 'an awkward silence.
Ivy looked at us one at a time not knowing what to do.
<< Se non vi conoscessi penserei che c'e' qualcosa tra voi.>> None of
two bait.
<< Bene, lo sapete che si laurea Peter?>> changed the subject.
<< Davvero? >> exclaimed.
<< Perche' ti interessi di Peter? Non ami Lee? >> Suze that he spoke with was nasty tone.
<< Ami Lee?>> Ivy seemed puzzled.
<< OMD! Basta con questa storia. Allora quando si laurea?>>
<< Domani, mi aveva detto di dirvelo ma mi sono dimenticata. Fa una festa al pub.>>
<< Che testa di cavolo, dovremo pure fargli un regalo?>> complains about.
<< Sò che Cat l' ha fatto a nome di tutti, le ho detto che partecipavamo, dovremo darle i soldi.>> explained Ivy.
Suze and I nodded and we continued eating in silence, Ivy snorted bored.
I wondered immediately if the party there was also Peter Lee, this was the only thought that crossed my mind.
arrived on the evening of graduation party, helped to give him a new laptop, luckily we were more 'people to share it. On
and I were improved, we started to answer yes and no. I only hoped that Lee is not fucking with that same crap.
entered the pub and 'there was enough hot air, we looked for the graduates did not find him. Ivy met a friend of hers.
<< Beth che diavolo succede qui?>>
<< Come non lo sai? Arrivano i The Cast, forse.>> exploded with excitement.
I was going to have a shot to the heart! The Cast? Zack, my only love.
<< Davvero, figo!>> Ivy said.
<< Ma non e' sicuro. Stanno informando Peter, stanno facendo un unplanged per MTV in uno studio a ST, se ce la fanno a finire in tempo vengono.>>
<< Dai forte, speriamo>> Ivy continued, and meanwhile I saw Peter with three girls, one of them was
<< Guarda, andiamo da Peter...> Cat> I said, turning to on (without even realizing it) but actually 'I wanted news of Lee by Cat
We approached Peter and all three hugged him warmly congratulated. On Ivy and greeted one of the girls next door, "the red" while the student introduced us to the 'other.
<< Lei e' Kim! La mia migliore amica. E' un attrice ed ora lavora ad St.>>
<< Suze, in effetti hai un viso noto.>> Ivy clarified, but I knew I saw it somewhere in the advertising of 'maybe.
<< Che bello! Quando saremo stilisti famosi ti sceglieremo per il nostro catalogo di alta moda, sono Ivy.>> she was enthusiastic and the red looked with skepticism.
<< Piacere. Meraviglioso, siete tutte e tre stiliste?>> she asked with a look really sweet. She was very beautiful and thin. I feel like a cow.
<< No, io sono una pittrice...cioe' studio pittura! Mi chiamo Mel e sono di ST! I quartieri poveri però...>> replied, laughing, ST was divided in the cool and in the poor, I had never been poor, but a house in the wealthy neighborhood I would not ever able to afford. She smiled at me sympathetically, he saw a girl who was not haughty as it seemed to me the other.
<< Lei e' Luna, la mia ragazza. Mel solo tu non la conosci.>> said nothing while she shook my hand and square. I had almost icy.
<< Ma Lee...?>> On seeing me he asked looking around all the time, thanked her with a thought, was really a 'friend.
<< Mi ha fatto una telefonata dicendomi che sarebbe venuto in questi giorni, ha un pò da fare.>> sob, sob, sob! My kiss was like a repellent, then?, Devevo inquire with Cat
Shortly after we were told that the group would not come, we were all disappointed, Kimmy also seemed out of sorts. OH MY ZACK.
I saw Cat head out and immediately took the opportunity to follow it.
<< Cat fa troppo freddo qui, vieni dentro. >> I said, pretending to be buddies.
<< Avevo voglio di sigaretta.>> I thought of how to pull off the topic Lee, while I thought she was not saying a word to anticipate.
<< Quel coglione non e' venuto! E' una settimana che non lo vedo, sai qualcosa? >> BINGO! He wanted to know from me what I wanted to ask you.
<< No, non sò neanche se torna a dormire...>> seemed disconsolate.
<< Senti, so che si fa di E! Perche' e' così infelice?>>
<< Non sò molto, so che parte tutto dalla sua famiglia.>>
<< Sai perche'? Perche' non posso permettermi che si perda, e' troppo in gamba.>>
<< Vorresti aiutarlo?>> was interested.
<< Non credo che sia cattivo. Per me in lui c'e' qualcosa...>>
<< Ti sei innamorata di lui. >> said it was not a question. << E' questo l'effetto che fa! Porcamiseria. Ha quegli occhi così dolci che vorresti salvarlo, prendertelo con te. >> really after the close encounter I was also a great sex.
<< Pensi davvero che sia così?>> I was shocked.
<< Credo di sì e sai cosa ti dico? Ti cedo il posto, ho fallito, non sono riuscita ad aiutarlo.>> We were both head down, I did not want his place.
<< Non voglio rovinare quello che c'e' tra di voi.>> I tried to explain.
<< Non c'e' nulla tra di noi, a parte che lui ha sempre la smania di proteggermi, intanto che lui cercherà di farlo tu prova a proteggere lui.>>
I did so with his head, two seconds after they called us in for the photos. What I had said no had made her quite happy and I am sorry, I could be in place after a few months. Who would be able to save from Lee himself?
Shortly after I saw it go under the eyes accompanied by Peter and sour altered Luna, the girl from him.
<< Scusami per il disturbo, potevo prendermi un taxi.>> she said, climbing on the bike for him.
<< Ero stanco di tutta quella gente, mi andava un giro in moto. Poi ti ho vista un pò sotto tono.>>
<< Sempre a causa di Lee. Credo che si sia preso una cotta per Mel e viceversa.>>
<< Credi? Lee ha troppi problemi per conto suo per innamorarsi.>>
Cat and was silent at that moment I squeezed the bike and continued at high speed, came down from her eyes of tears.
arrived at the residence of Popstar, he decided to accompany her to the entrance, there was a bit of embarrassment 'cause she tried to hide her tears.
<< Te l'hanno mai raccontata la mia storia con tua cugina? >>
<< La conosco vagamente, so che avevate una storia quando l'hanno uccisa...>> answered demolished.
<< Lei e' sempre stata innamorata di me. Non sò perche' meritassi tanta importanza, ero al centro del suo mondo...>>
<< Forse perche' non ne aveva un altro...>>
<< Sì, ma perche' io? Non sono mai arrivato a chiederglielo e devo ringraziarla, perche' solo lei mi ha insegnato cosa e' donare amore e non essere ossessionati nella ricerca di entrare nelle mutande di qualcuna.>>
<< Chissa' se diventerò mai una santa come lei.>>
<< Non era assolutamente una santa, ma aveva dei pregi. Quando te ne vai c’è la tendenza a dimenticare i difetti. Sono anche stato incazzato con lei quando e' morta perche' non ho avuto il tempo di innamorarmene allo stesso modo...>>
<< Capita.>> sighed.
<< Voglio che tu mi tratti come un fratello, un cugino, come se avessi sposato Sel, ok?>>
<< Grazie Peter.>> the two broke up in a warm embrace and a flash lit up behind them.

18) trying to cover up a scoop.

<< …beccati a baciarsi fuori al residence dell’aspirante cantante, hanno portato a galla la realta’ dei fatti. Lui, Peter Whitman amico dei The cast (che dovevano partecipare alla sua festa di laurea ma poi non si sono presentati), lei Catherine Mettei partecipante al reality popstar. “Adesso e’ tutto molto chiaro”, dicono gli altri partecipanti, “e’ stata raccomandata!”>> Ivy read with caution.
<< Non ci posso credere, per Giove.>> commented on while you cut your toenails on the couch. Yuck!
<< Ma non stava con quella Luna?>> I asked, wondering why he had chosen me and not Cat.
<< Si baciano davvero secondo voi?>> Ivy by passing the paper said.
<< E’troppo buio! Magari si abbracciano solo…>> said its on. Undoubtedly
are very close, I would love to.
<< Secondo me e’ sempre perche’ Pet stava con la sorella morta di Cat ma non se la cagava, si sente in colpa, per questo la coccola. >> Ivy said.
<< La sorella?>>
<< La cugina…>> pointed on.
<< Poi era sotto tono quella sera, chissa’ perche’…>> gave me a look that made me feel like shit.
<< Peter mi ha raccontato della cugina, senza scendere nei particolari, non mi aveva detto neanche che stessero insieme.>>
<< La storia e’ un po’ dolorosa, pensa che Serena, in arte Selena, faceva parte dei The Cast, nella prima formazione c’erano infatti anche due donne. Poco prima del loro debutto, di partire per Londra, fu uccisa da uno zio che era praticamente ossessionato da lei, la violentava da bambina e quando lei scappo’ di casa impazzì ripromettendosi di trovarla. Si suicidò due secondi dopo averle sparato.>>
<< Oddio e’ orribile!>> I said horrified, I did not know that poor Cat had a past like that,
It was all my fault! It was sad because of me, maybe crying, Peter, the man's heart of gold, 'he embraced to comfort her, I knew, and - click - the photographers were ready to scoop. I was hoping that the story had an impact on his career.
I was really worried about Peter and Catherine, and not having lessons, I went the pub.
I saw him behind the counter with his face tense, I felt that he was aware of me and Lee, I worried that I had one with me and instead looked at me smiling.
<< Dottore!>> greeted him. << Allora il tirocinio quando lo inizi?>> continued.
<< Non lo so ancora, mi sono preso un periodo sabbatico.>>
<< Capisco…>> I tried not to put "topic" in the middle and I felt very stupid, I did not know what expression my face had taken.
<< Non ci stavamo baciando, ho ancora una relazione con Luna.>> exclaimed after a while '.
<< Immaginavo, la consolavi per la cosa che e’ successa con me vero?>>
<< Sei una ragazza intelligente, ma parte della conversazione che abbiamo avuto sulla cugina.>>
<< Mi hanno raccontato la versione integrale della storia…>> asserted.
<< Nessuno merita questo Mel, ho cercato di aiutarla, ne ho parlato con Steve (ndr leader dei The Cast) e lei e’ entrata a far parte di “Popstar”. Fanno tutti così, perche’ devono accanirsi su di lei? Ha una voce meravigliosa.>> began to deteriorate.
<< Sì, e’ la migliore del programma, ne hanno paura. Hai notizie dalla redazione?>>
<< Stanno decidendo, sono incazzato! Steve ha detto che sarebbe troppo rischioso intervenire ora.>>
<< Ha ragione, aspettiamo fiduciosi, non possono essere tanto bastardi.>>
<< Grazie Mel.>> he said and I smiled taken aback, Peter I liked as a person, this was the truth '.
He walked away a bit ', I noticed that his thoughts were far away, I wondered what he was doing and Cat Lee if he knew what had happened.
I stayed alone for a while 'sitting at the counter when AJ came up to me.
<< Signorina, sono giorni duri, vero?>>
<< Diciamo che ci sono stati tempi migliori.>> I tried to smile.
<< Capisco!>> hanging his head.
<< La tua famiglia? Come vanno le cose?>> asked, not knowing what else to ask.
<< Direi bene. Ma sono troppo affezionato a questi ragazzi per stare tranquillo. Hai visto Lee? So che ci abiti insieme…>>
<< Purtroppo no, anche io sono preoccupata.>>
<< E’ stato lui a portarmi qua, il primo tra loro che ho conosciuto! Sono angosciato perche’ so che si sta fottendo con le proprie mani, e’ un periodo difficile anche per lui.>>
<< Parli dell’E.x.s.t.a.s.y.?>> I noticed that the tone by saying that word fell from first to last letter.
<< Sì, sai? Gliel’ho detto tante volte di disintossicarsi, di non poter andare avanti così.>>
's strange how many things of AJ sappesse Lee, as if it had been his confidante with whom he talked freely about everything.
<< Hai idea di dove possa essere andato?>>
<< Ogni volta che sparisce e’ perche’ e’ a secco e va dal padre a ricaricarsi…>>
<< Parliamo di soldi?>>
<< Gia, gli Harris hanno una catena di alberghi sulla costa di SVT (SilverTown – sulla costa del New Shire) ma lui al padre non se lo fila proprio, di rimando il padre per allontanarlo e nascondere la “pecora nera” della famiglia, l’ha mandato a NS a studiare.>>
<< Indubbiamente Lee e’ un grande talento, l’IDES di NS e’ migliore di tutte le altre…>> giustificai the attitude of the father of Lee without knowing why ', maybe I did not want to hear the truth'.
<< Lui dice che la madre era una grande fotografa…>>
Photography Mother & Son: his mother, had to be very close. 'Cause that relationship with his father? AJ did not know a lot more ', otherwise it would have told me, I wanted to ask but I thought Cat was not the right time ...
Pet's phone rang, he answered, and seemed much affected, hanging up at me.
<< L’hanno espulsa, la puntata “speciale” con tutti i chiarimenti, andra’ in onda domani.>> said. Peter was really destroyed, it is barely controlled, AJ came over to calm him down and I was there I had no idea how to behave, so I wanted to talk to Cat

19) Trying to reconstruct the past.


I, Su and Ivy had just finished watching the episode in which the production justified the exclusion of the Cat program.
The explanations do not convince us that much, you knew that everyone was recommended in that place.! But why 'Cat? How did they know? Who had stuck? We argued heatedly that.
<< Mi chiedo chi abbia detto a quei paparazzi che qualcuno avrebbe accompagnato Cat al residence, sembra una trappola….>>
<< Non la vedo così da soap opera! Qualcuno voleva incu**seli!>> comment on.
<< La cosa divertente e’ che ogni volta che apri bocca vengono su tutti questi asterischi ****>>.
<< Vorrei sapere come sta Cat! > > I explained.
<< Chissa’ se lei varrà mai saperne piu’ di te!>> On said in a tone of sly and crafty eyes. << Sto scherzando Mel, sicuramente sarai il suo ultimo problema…>> clear after two seconds, my friend had finally buried the hatchet, my thoughts took me back to Lee in two words: Where were you?
<< Sta tranquilla cara, sara’ di ritorno presto, il tempo di prosciugare un altro po’ il patrimonio del padre…>> interjected Ivy
<< Me l’ha detto AJ ed ha aggiunto una serie di notizie agghiaccianti sul loro rapporto.>>
on Ivy and looked, I was sure that they would not reveal to something even more 'shocking, something that perhaps I would not have wanted to know, but Ivy began to talk like a river full.
<< Sai, io non giustifico il fatto che si “faccia”… ma lo capisco!>>
<< Se lo dici in questi termini comprendi tutti quelli che soffrono, che decidono di ubriacarsi, o farsi, buttando nel cesso lo sforzo di quelli che soffrono e lo affrontano diversamente.>> discussed with each other without me understand anything.
<< Non dico che fa bene, dico che con l’infanzia che ha avuto e’ plausibile.>> Ivy continued. My whole body trembled, I did not know what to say, I was anxious but I was really foreign to the discussion.
<< Non ci sto capendo niente, mi sembra di essere ad un talk show, in verita’ non me ne frega molto di sapere se fa bene a farlo o meno, vorrei capire perche’ lo fa. >> concluded.
After a 'dirty looks of Ivy, on the initiative to tell.
<< Lee non e’ figlio di suo padre…>>
<< Cioe’ non e’ figlio del magnate Harris, proprietario degli alberghi sulla costiera di SVT.>> To Ivy.
<< E lo sanno tutti?>> I asked.
<< Beh, lo sappiamo noi in quanto amiche e la sua famiglia niente piu’, e’ stato tutto cancellato.>>
<< Cancellato?>> I was shaken from time.
<< Andiamo in ordine: gli Harris sono una famiglia ricca da generazioni, il padre Fred s’innamorò di una fotografa francese, la mamma di Lee, Angelique Zénobé , molto famosa ai suoi tempi.>>
<< Sì, me la ricordo, ma e’ morta da quasi venti anni?!>> oh my Lee would have to be very small at the time.
<< Fu un matrimonio da sogno, come in una fiaba, lei smise di lavorare ed ebbe 4 figli: due maschi e due femmine.>>
should I care about the love story of Lee's parents?
<< Uno dei quattro e’ Lee? Il figlio di un tradimento?>> I asked.
<< Chi e’ artista davvero, e’ triste lontana dalla sua arte. Durante un periodo di smarrimento Angelique torno’ a Parigi per ripercorrere i periodi felici del suo successo, fu lì che incontro’ un fotografo giovane, nessuno sa la sua identita’ ma solo il nome: Gaël…>>
<< Cosa e’ successo?>>
<< Per alcuni mesi la madre si rifiutò di tornare a casa finche’ il giovane fotografo sconosciuto non morì in un incendio sviluppatosi nel suo appartamento. Solo allora lei tornò da suo marito, ma era incinta di Lee, il suo quinto figlio.>>
<< Sì, ma perche’ dirgli la verita’? Potevano crescere Lee senza fargli sapere nulla.>>
<< E’ qui che la storia prese una piega ancor piu’ tragica: la madre partorì Lee dopo solo sette mesi ma a causa di una depressione post parto decise di farla finita.>>
<< Ma e’ orribile! >> blood in my veins had frozen.
<< Spedì poco prima una lettere a sua sorella a Parigi, in cui diceva di non riuscire a vivere senza il suo giovane amore ormai scomparso, si sentiva anche responsabile perche’ era sicura che Fred avesse mandato qualcuno ad uccidere Gaël, non credendo alla causalita’ dell’incidente. Scatto’ una foto insieme al suo bambino, si tenevano le mani come ne “La creazione di Adamo” di Michelangelo, come se avesse passato la sua vita a quel bambino troppo piccolo, nato prematuro. ..>> was "mother & son" who were talking about.
<< Dopo averla fatta si lancio’ dal decimo piano, da una finestra di una delle camere di uno degli alberghi di suo marito.
The father decided to grow the same as that child of shame, but he always treated differently from other children. Lee as a child had never made the account until all of ten years, Aunt Flavienne, that he had received the letter, had made brave, had gone to SVT to take Lee with you. She told him the truth ', Fred accused of killing his sister and being the instigator of the murder of the photographer. Mr. Harris on charges' to be crazy like her sister and drove in the wrong way. The woman left a photocopy of the original letter of Angelique in the hands of a child 10 years ... since then the relationship with the father went to get worse, it was not his child and he did nothing to reproach him while Lee called it: MEURTRIER (murderess in French) ... He never saw his mother, his father considers him a shame for the family, the brothers considered responsible for the deaths of the mother - even if indirectly, and can not 'never discover the identity' of the natural father.>> The quick summary of Suze
broke my heart. I thought of him, his eyes, his sufferings, what I had was nothing compared to the past, I felt very close to his situation, I wept quietly huddled on the couch while the two girls approached me, embracing me.
<< Su piccolina, se riesci ad aiutarlo andrai diritta in Paradiso.>> joke about.
I did not want to go to heaven, I wanted to bring peace in the heart of Lee, but I knew to be too ambitious in wanting

20) Trying to say goodbye ...


Lee had not returned and I felt really down, ' for more 'I had a lot of tests to give. It was a short periodaccio
Cat ... I had not yet reviewed, I did not know how life was going well for Peter knew nothing. I felt detached from social life if it were not for the occasional visits of Ivy, chats with watching TV on and the long email exchange with Simon (the guy we met during the entrance test all'IDES).
That evening was the evening "Streap" the pub of Peter (as every week) and then I had to work (not as a dancer of course). Ivy
also worked, and then I took on an appointment with her. We met at the pub directly anticipating a little bit to have dinner together before work. They were like an old couple now and I felt their daughter.
The dilemma was what to wear even after four days locked in the house I felt as if that was a return to society ', luckily on, not surprisingly was a designer (or as we called her a "quasi-stylist") in twenty minutes, he advised me on clothes and makeup.
The climate of that period was really NS cold, unbearable to be honest and at times I thought that there was no dressing at all points and then come out with more and overcoat, scarves and hats that covered everything that was beautiful underneath.
arrived at the pub and suddenly noticed that a box had been set up at the moment where someone was performing, rubbed my eyes seeing that someone was CAT.
The unmistakable voice was his, the style was totally distraught, pop style that probably requires the provision was passed to the dark gothic-like Amy Lee of Evanescense. I looked at her with admiration, 'cause even if the makeup was heavy enough she was enchanting.

'm so tired of being here Suppressed
by all my childish fears
[I'd give my last breath
to give back all the memories that I could not bear]

And if you go I wish I did now
Because your presence still lingers here And
not leave me alone ( My Immortal-Evanescense)

Once the show ended, I, Su and Ivy (who had joined us in the meantime) we approached her to inform on the latest. He was beaming, had a pierced lower lip left. Cute! His being dark made her cheerful, paradoxically, he told us that Pet had allowed her to perform in his club, paying the evenings, and she felt very satisfied. With me he did not mention the speech "Lee, the late" while others continue to look at us trying to figure out if happiness' was real or anything to disguise the embarrassment, she did not even have a hint to the program.
Shortly after we left and we went over to Peter to find out what had really happened and why Cat 'seemed so quiet in spite of everything, but he did the same strong response and a' clear
<< Va tutto bene.>> "here we cat breeding," together we thought.
Cat had taken a room at the student dell'IDES and even though it was a regression, it was pretty pleased with the new version of his life, entering the gate, and after greeting the goalkeeper collided with a person that was put forth on purpose.
<< Straniero! >> Cat did not hide his excitement at seeing Lee.
<< Ho saputo cosa e’ successo, però ti dona il nuovo look. >> said he welcomed.
<< Su vieni!>> Cat invited him in the room.


These wounds will not seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too
because time can erase When you cried

wipe away all of your tears when I cried
fought
all your fears I held your hand for all
these years But you still continue to have all of me (My Immortal-Evanescense)


Cat had received a single very small, it was equipped with a coffeemaker, ' I began to prepare a couple of cups while Lee sat on a stool by the window.
<< E’ inutile che parliamo della mia situazione avrai letto i giornali… >>
<< Sì, me ne ha anche parlato Peter, sei felice ora?>>
<< Mi ci devo ancora abituare…>>
<< Lo stile?>> he asked.
<< Trasmetto quello che ho dentro, fuori…tutto qui! Sei stato a casa?>>
<< Sì! Sono praticamente scappato, ero a secco, sono andato dal vecchio…avevo bisogno di allontanarmi…>> snorted.
<< Disintossicazione da NS?>>
<< Non mi faccio da una settimana, ce la sto mettendo tutta.>>
<< Finalmente, hai visto Mel?>>
<< Perche’ mi fai questa domanda?>> seemed upset.
<< Era preoccupata molto.>>
<< Non sopporto il modo in cui mi tratta, ha un buonismo irritante…>>
<< Hai smesso di farti a causa sua dì la verita’, o meglio GRAZIE a lei!…>>
<< Non dire stronzate…>> dried up.
<< Lo fai per piacerle…>>
<< Cazzate!>>
<< Sai che ti dico? Ci ho messo tanto per essere in grado di dire queste cose ma credo che a te serva un tipo come lei …>> saying that she bit her lip.
<< Come se tu sapessi dirmi di cosa ho bisogno io! Mi sono rotto!>> Lee cried when leaving the room quite angry, and Cat jumped on the bed with open arms sad.
I

enchanted By your resonating light Now
are conditioned by the life you left behind Your face

The lives that were once pleasant dreams Your voice has undermined

My sanity (My Immortal-Evanescense)

was late at night when I went home and Su, Ivy was not with us' cause he decided to return to his home.
We were exhausted, I had painted all the time, painting was very dirty, but despite everything I could say I earned good. By the time we headed in our respective rooms, Su pointed out to me a light under the door of the room by Lee.
<< Vai a parlargli…>> whispered with convincing tone while my heart went already a thousand.
With trembling hand I knocked on the door but opened it after without waiting for permission to enter it.
<< Lee, ciao. >> I told him, her face was flushed and seemed a bit 'upset. << Ti abbiamo cercato dappertutto.>> continued.
<< Perche’?>> is altered.
<< Perche’ ero preoccupata per te!>>
<< Che te ne frega di me?>> I attacked.
<< Mi importa molto piu’ di quanto tu possa minimamente immaginare...>> I tell you? Yes, I said, it was too late to bite my tongue.
<< Sei come un pugno allo stomaco o peggio una pugnalata al cuore!>>
<< ODDIO, che cosa orrenda pensi di me!>> I was stunned.
<< No! Non e’ una cosa orrenda, non mi faccio da una settimana e Cat dice che e’ a causa tua…>>
<< Sono contenta!>>
<< Non mi piacciono le tipe come te…>>
<< Peccato, tu mi piaci molto invece!>> everything happened at night and then thought I was dreaming and not really live that moment.
<< Non c’e’ modo di farmi voler male da te?>>
<< Piu’ di quanto non te ne vuoi tu? Impossibile.> > I looked at him, so I wanted to hug him. I felt I really love him, but that was different from the love I felt for my ex Peter.
<< Ogni volta che mi guardi, io mi sento come se avessi sbagliando tutto nella mia vita e mi sento così limitato tanto da rendermi conto che pur se volessi non potrei mai darti cio’ che cerchi in un ragazzo.>> said this left home again, and I felt a rag, 'cause I had indirectly embarrassed,' even though it was not my intention, had thought that I wanted something more 'he when he was already 'a huge thing for me.

I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me I am alone too long


I would run away and
shelter from the rain but I can not leave without you
I would like to live without the constant fear and endless doubt
but I can not live without you (My Immortal-Evanescense)