This is the first story I wrote after THERE IS A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT (the story has stolen the name of a beautiful song by The Smiths) are followed by other, perhaps more beautiful but this is the one that I will carry forever in my heart ...
This morning I woke up with a fixed idea: to change my life, I swear it is something deeper, this time seeking a new cut or hair color or even to find the inner well-being lost by moving furniture or burning my old clothes ... The inner well-being do not think I will never repurchase ... never again ... I decided that faro'qualcosa everyone is talking about today and be smettero'di Michela, Michael and I had become what I thought of having to become ... I want to get myself to do even at the cost of yet another mistake of my life ... My God in my life because everything has to be cosi'complesso? Piu'facile would not be for everyone to wake up and be in the perfect situation? We would all certainly piu'buoni and much less angry, you might want one thing and then get it?? We do not want the millions of lottery than to let them suckers that fell on abstraction playing twice a week ... but their salaries would not have if they had not played a lot of money?? It is a simple matter this! ke There are things can really change your life just need to ask, if I talk about it ... now for example I would like to finish my story amuer without hurting anyone as I do?? This meant to change my life ... How can I go to him, look him in the eye and tell him that I'm confused, who do not marry, not I want more than our son is named David, that David did not nascera'mai and that he, the guy that up until yesterday I called love, never svegliera'ogni morning next to me How can I tell him not break his heart that we will never a house full of photographs, which do not grow old hand in hand and not avra'mai everything we ever wanted .... What I thought until yesterday ... I almost want to go to play one euro a tobacco e'piu ' easy today to become a millionaire .... perche'sono and came to believe that? last night I had a dream ... You all should know if you believe in dreams that make the night my friend Silvia was a head a giant eye that charred all dressed in red and her legs would two forks!! But my more than a dream was a vision, The time has come to expect tonight ... finally ... mei sins were absolved. I knew I had wasted the last years of my life while in realta'non deserve to pay a price ... cosi'caro remorse for too long have entertained me in, tearing in and out ... leaving me make mistakes and lose everything I held cio'a I have changed my life thinking cosi'di escape the past to heal the wounds now infettegli mistakes I have paid, and last night I finally realized that's over is over ... For too long, wearing a mask but today togliero'so that now but at least it will not do anything tornera'com'era 'error to ruin the rest of my life and create still suffering with my false' ... I can not hurt him too ... I've done it too directly and indirectly ... to order ... But let this day end before I have to concentrate and to figure out what to do ... I'm getting married in a month with Demoro Gabriel, a quiet life ... I expect a good boy, a good job, a good family, nice house gia'arredata ... I thought that security was an important thing in life but now all the certainties that are thought to have vanished into thin air to chase a dream of the past which then e'tramutato into a nightmare by the tragic and sad end ... I know Gabriel does not like, I do not think I ever loved ... perhaps in the world I wanted to build around me was an essential element, but it 's never been love ... love for me e'solo a sweet memory of a special person ... a person who lives and will live 'forever in my cuore.L' love for me will never come back ... The love that has only caused suffering ... All e'iniziato when I was 18, I'm 24 now and in 6 years I did nothing take that all around me the last year of school compresaricordo Superiores e'iniziato all then ....
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